November 28, 2002

     By the time alumni in Iloilo read this, homecoming should be over. So, tell me. What did I miss?

     Did Dr. Binayas actually sing a song other than "La Bamba?" Does Dr. Marañon still start all her sentences with "Basically...?" How about the Homecoming Queen? Got any pictures? No, I won't ask for new jokes from Dr. Marte because, it's a given, he doesn't have any.

     Homecoming is probably not such a big deal for alumni based in Iloilo City. You see each other everyday anyway. At hospital wards, malls, restaurants, parties and even prayer meetings of Couples for Christ. But it's still a good time to be together at least a day, talking about the good old days when the gentlemen had a full set of hair and the ladies were still within the "weight for height" thing.

     I missed 3 homecomings already since I officially became a part of the alumni community. In other words, I have never attended a single one due to unavoidable circumstances. Well, I could have attended the first one but it came at a bad time. I just disappointed the College at that time as well as my class. I guess I was too embarrassed to attend. As time went by and the bad times passed, I could not wait for the next homecoming. Then I moved to the U.S.

     That's the main reason why I have not attended the next two, including this latest one. My schedule just wouldn't let me. Besides, it's not as easy as taking a 76 bus and picking up "bandi" along the way. I guess it's time to look forward to the next one.

     I've been to Iloilo City twice in the last five years, unfortunately not during the time when a homecoming was scheduled. Still, I always had a time reserved to pay homage to Roxas Hall and pay courtesy to the people there. More than two years ago, I went to see then-Dean Dr. Abello, her secretary Joy (man, you couldn't get one over her during examinations, she has eyes behind her head), Nang Jemimah and the rest of the staff at the Registrar's Office.

"Dra. B has this white complexion ever since, as far as I could remember. She was already "white" when we were still in school, I imagine you'll never find her in a snowstorm."

     Manang Oting, who used to tend a little carinderia beside the ladies' washroom at Roxas Hall was no longer there. The outside portion of the Registrar's office has been transformed into a little tyangge, offering sandwiches, soda and mineral water. Arthur, who still tends the Pathology lab, seemed to be managing it. For all I know, he might have driven Manang Oting out of business.

     It's always nice to come back after 9 or 10 years knowing that people still recognize you. It's both nice and gratifying to talk to security guards and nurses at the hospital as if you just left the day before. Of course, it's always nice to meet friends, former residents and consultants. Dr. Noel Binayas has always been kind, inviting me to alumni meetings whenever I'm in town.

     However, if there's one thing I looked forward to in this homecoming (had I decided to attend it), it's visiting a classmate, Dra. B. I was told, Dra. B is now a practicing dermatologist in the city and wants to take care of each of her classmate's "dermatologic" needs. I was made aware months ago that I'm the only one she hasn't crossed out on her list. I doubt if Dra. B has even listed my name. I am already hearing her mumbling, "Fixing Rolour's face is like building a highway on the moon."

     There is something peculiar about Dra. B. The last time I checked, she's still single. (It's a part of my "job" on this site to update myself with "whatever" in Iloilo). Gwyneth Paltrow is still single, so what's the big deal? Well, Dra. B is not exactly the one we expected to be "the last member of the class to get married". She's shy, unassuming, could hardly finish a sentence, but she's cute. Believe me, I know beauty when I see it. And as a matter of record, the "the last member of the class we expected to get married" got hitched last month to her high school sweetheart or so I was told. When a classmate broke the news of the marriage to me about two weeks ago, he couldn't believe it was happening. He said the news was more shocking than, say, all Philippine politicians admitting to stealing people's money and putting themselves in jail.

     Actually, the reason Dra. B came to mind was because of a mutual friend (also a practicing consultant in Iloilo) who visited us here in Chicago recently. The friend was looking for a certain antioxidant called Glu** (I will let you supply the missing letters, commercials are prohibited on this site). The antioxidant, the friend said and as advised by Dra. B, can give you a whiter complexion when taken daily. She said this is the new trend in the city and she's been taking it for some time. She was wondering if it's cheaper in the States. It costs about 60 pesos per capsule in Iloilo.

     I heard about the antioxidant Glu** in Biochemistry but was never aware that it could make someone "whiter". I looked up a few literature which say Glu** is a very important detoxifying agent, enabling the body to get rid of undesirable toxins and pollutants but I have never read something to the effect of "it could make you whiter". Biochemistry was like reading Braille to me so I just considered myself ignorant. Hey, the friend's husband and a kumpare (who was with her during the visit) teaches Biochemistry to first year students at Roxas Hall so what can I say? We went to GNC and Vitamins World, two popular outlets of vitamins and everything-herbal here. A bottle of Glu** 250 mg (30 caps) costs about 19 dollars.

     An ignorant man usually asks questions. And so I asked the friend if it is effective. Besides, my wife was very interested. "I have been taking this for only a few weeks," the friend said, "but you should see Dra. B. She's been taking this for a while now she has the whitest complexion you've ever seen." This is where my problem starts. Dra. B has this white complexion ever since, as far as I could remember. She was already "white" when we were still in school, I imagine you'll never find her in a snowstorm. "I know she's 'white', said the friend, "but she is 'whiter' now." Good Lord. My classmate has turned into Casper!

     I have always been a skeptic but I give my kumpare and kumare the benefit of the doubt. But I will only buy into the idea once I see the evidence. My wife has been taking it for 2 to 3 months now but I have yet to see the results. She says it's working but I hardly notice it. Besides, I see her everyday and I couldn't really tell the "transition". She doesn't need it to start with. Anyway, I will always love her whether she's taking Glu** or not.

     That is why it's been a big disappointment for me not to attend the homecoming this year. I need to see Dra. B, that is if I can still "see" her. She is the only one who can convince me that Glu** indeed works.

     Not unless Michael Jackson speaks out tomorrow admitting he's been taking it.

     Just recently, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to settle a trademark fight over whether the huge Victoria's Secret chain is damaged by a small firm named Victor's Little Secret. Both companies sell provocative lingerie, among other items, and Victor's Little Secret additionally sells adults-only novelties.

     According to CNN, Victor Moseley of Elizabethtown, Kentucky, opened a single store under the name Victor's Secret, which he later changed to Victor's Little Secret, but the larger retail chain says that the name remains too close to its name and has sought trademark protection against Moseley. Such conflict falls under the Federal Trademark Dilution Act, passed by the U.S. Congress seven years ago to help protect businesses with established trademarks from newcomers who may try to trade off the famous name. Victoria's Secret Catalogue Inc. has held a trademark on its name for 20 years.

     A few years ago, the same thing happened to a small store "Sony", named after the owner "Sonia". The electronics giant Sony threatened to sue under the aforementioned act and the owner was forced to change her store's name.

     I got an e-mail from an officemate recently about the ingenuity of Filipinos in naming businesses. Imagine if these businesses are in the U.S., multi-national companies and individuals will be suing left and right. By the way, these are true and currently existing business names according to my e-mailer and I don't doubt it. You be the judge if some of these businesses violate the Federal Trademark Dilution Act or the owners are just plain ingenious.

• Bread Pitt (a bakery)
• Maruya Carey (a fast-food place selling turon and maruya in Greenbelt, Makati)
• Caintacky Fried Chicken (an eatery in Cainta, Rizal)
• Mang Donald's (a burger joint at the Naga City plaza)
• Candies Be Love? (Can anything be sweeter than this?)
• Doris Day and Night (a 24-hour eatery)
• Miki Mao (a noodle house)
• Tapsi Turbi (a tapa house)
• Cleopata's (a manukan and bakahan)
• Goto Heaven (goto place)
• The Fried of Marikina (a fried chicken house)
• Wrap and Roll (a lumpia outlet in Quad, Makati)
• Pansit ng taga-Malaboni (a panciteria on Boni Ave., Mandaluyong)
• Side-saki (a side street eatery beside Mandarin Oriental in Makati)
• Let's Goat-Together (a kambingan-cum-beer garden)
• Meating Place (a meat shop)
• Meatropolis (another meat shop)
• Cinna Von (a laundromat)
• Pier Carding (a tailoring shop in Pier, Manila)
• The Way We Wear (a boutique)
• Curl Up and Dye (a beauty salon)
• Goldilooks (a barber shop)
• Sylvestre's Salon
• Bote Nga Sa 'Yo (used bottle shop)
• Christopher Plumbing (your friendly neighborhood plumber)
• Goldirocks (a gravel and sand shop)
• Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits (a video rental shop in Palawan)
• Leon King Video Rental (in Las Piñas)
• Petal Attraction (a flower shop near UP Diliman)
• Susan's Roses (a flower shop, but of course!)
• Maid to Order (maids placement agency)

     I would like to take this opportunity to again thank all of you for making us a part of your Internet routine. Happy Thanksgiving day to everyone.

     This week's FINAL WORD comes from Dr. Rey Pineda:

     "...you may have all the milk and honey there but we have all the batchoy we want here."

     Well, we do have the Maggi Instant Mami Noodles, La Paz batchoy flavor, here too.

Comments regarding this week's column are welcome. Please fill up the fields below and click Send to Author. Suggestions for future column topics are also encouraged.

     The author's e-mail address is at drgarcia@wvsumedaa.com

     All views expressed on this column and any other by-lined articles on this site are the authors' own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization or its members. For comments, please e-mail the author.